Shape of my Heart
by Japanesecherry
Summary: A short story of Love and Loss through Syaorans eyes. **Completed**
1. The Game Begins

The Game Begins Love like life is a game of chance. You play all to win all but can also lose all. So what do you do if you have never really played all? Syaoran had thought long and hard about everything. The cards, Japan, Hong Kong, Clows reincarnation and the Cards master, Sakura. He stared at the back of her head during math class like he had for the previous six years, only more lovingly than previously. Syaoran was now in High school and he had managed to ensure he sat behind Sakura for the four consecutive years before this. He could still imagine the twists of the long curly hair and become lost in them, that was from the last time he had seen Sakuras beautiful hair. Sakura had, been growing her hair, not that Syaoran objected of course. She looked even more like a beautiful angel. He was mesmerised by the twisting hair soft and shiny looking like silk, yet twice as expensive, even though she wasn't actually there. He lost himself in the swirls of golden browns.  
  
".And the answer is Li Syaoran?" the teacher asked  
  
"Forty two degrees" Syaoran answered not moving his eyes from her hair and stunning everyone because he had answered the algebra question without a calculator.  
  
Suddenly the bell rang like a lightning bolt to the system Syaoran woke from the daydream that was Sakura and ambled out of the classroom. It was nearly Christmas and everywhere was starting to look icy. Although Syaoran didn't pay much attention as he sat down in the cafeteria with his friends and some other boys his mind only seamed to wander over to Japan where Sakura was sitting with Tomoyo. Eating her food with that perfect mouth green eyes glittering like emeralds. Why couldn't he tell her how he really felt?  
  
* * * * *  
  
He scowled at the slender form in front of him. Perfect body, hair; smile like an innocent flower and scent of a summer breeze. Her short golden brown hair hinted with blonde highlights. Green eyes sparkling rivalling the beauty of Sakuras. Her name was Chloe. A British girl who had transferred here while he had been away in Japan. She had quickly made friends with Meiling. But Chloe was a little different from the rest of the students here. He had actually known her since she was six and, like him, had a form of magical power, which she liked to express with playing cards. Another thing he liked about Chloe was she had never shown an interest in dating him like all the other girls at their school.  
  
"Why the scowl Li-Kun? Not enjoying it here?" Chloe asked flipping over the top card from her pyramid formation. She stared at the card for a second then glance at Meiling and nodded. Meiling looked back nervously.  
  
"He's Free" Chloe told her causing a wide smile on Meiling's face. Chloe then flipped over the two cards in the centre on the bottom row.  
  
"Oh dear."  
  
"What?!" Meiling gasped "he's not-"  
  
"As if, just a little competition for his attention that's all"  
  
Meiling had come back to Hong Kong two years before Syaoran and now knew everything there was to know about their new classmates and she and Chloe were constantly filling him in about everyone. Using Chloes cards. Meiling tended to use them checking whether boys were dateable but Chloe used the differently when it was just her and Syaoran.  
  
"Any questions?" Chloe asked Meiling  
  
"Who? Who is the competition and does he like me"  
  
"Hmm."  
  
"Your wasting her time" Syaoran told Meiling.  
  
"No it's fine. Keeps me fine tuned with the cards." Chloe told Syaoran turning over two more cards.  
  
"Three of clubs and five of hearts" Chloe told Meiling  
  
"And that means?" Meiling asked anxiously.  
  
"Yes he does and Tomaki Azusa"  
  
"He likes me yay!" Meiling said and then wandered off to find her new target.  
  
Chloe re-shuffled the cards and placed then back in their box. The got a new pack out and shuffled them. Syaoran instantly knew what was coming so leaned over to pay attention.  
  
"Touch the deck please Syaoran-Kun" Chloe asked him and he did so. She then placed nine cards down in a diamond formation, and turned over the card at the very top.  
  
"Ace of Spades." She told him "She's fine. Her magics getting stronger day by day" Chloe then turned over the tree cards in the centre.  
  
"Four of diamonds. She's got a job, Saturdays. She's enjoying it. Doing well in school too" Syaorans heart started to drop. With her doing fine their would be no need for him to go back.  
  
"Ace of Clubs. Hmm some tough choices to be made. And Jack of hearts. Someones on her mind."  
  
"Who?" Syaoran asked before he could stop.  
  
"I told you before I'm not allowed to tell."  
  
"But you tell Meiling-"  
  
"That's a completely different matter Li Syaoran. I'm not supposed to be doing this anyway so don't push your luck. Spying on people doesn't go down too well with my parents." She told him firmly.  
  
"Fine" Syaoran said scowling "I just want-"  
  
"If anything's wrong I promised I would tell you. You can trust me I wont lie" Chloe said her eyes imploring him to believe her.  
  
"OK" Syaoran said his expression becoming a little more relaxed. Until Chloe turned over the bottom card.  
  
"The Joker?" Chloe looked confused and then started rummaging around in her bag.  
  
"What? What is it? What's wrong?" Syaoran blurted out  
  
"Calm down" Chloe told him looking through a dusty old book. She read for a second and then turned over the two cards above it. "Oh how fun! She's going to a carnival this weekend." Chloe said. Then gulped.  
  
"What?" Syaoran said his voice quite deadly.  
  
"She's going with her new boyfriend." Chloe told him  
  
* * * *  
  
She can't have, its impossible there's absolutely no chance, Syaoran thought helplessly that night. A boyfriend! Did I mean nothing to her? He stared at the photo-framed picture of Sakura in front of him. "Well she meant nothing to me either" Syaoran muttered scowling at the picture. Sakuras smile beckoned to him from the picture. He stared at it for another few minutes. Her hair, her smile, the silky dress she was wearing, she was the embodiment of an angel. Who am I trying to kid, Syaoran thought, she means everything to me, she's my oxygen so I can breathe, she's my light so I can see, she's my world. I love her so much.  
  
* * * * *  
  
It was lunchtime the next day, Meiling was hanging around her new crush while Syaoran and Chloe sat facing each other in silence. Syaoran was trying to read a book yet him mind just wandered to Sakura, while Chloe was shuffling cards and setting them out, flipping over the occasional card.  
  
"Are you OK?" Chloe asked him as she stared at the card she just flipped over.  
  
"Fine. Why?" Syaoran snapped back  
  
"Your different today" she told him  
  
"No I'm not what are you talking about" he snapped back again.  
  
"I can tell your upset," she said to him flipping over another card.  
  
"Stop using your cards to check up on me!"  
  
Chloe looked into Syaorans eyes and lifted an eyebrow.  
  
"I'm playing Solitaire" She told him "and actually I can see it in your eyes and body language, plus you haven't made any attempt to insult me or Meiling today."  
  
"Baka"  
  
"Not going to work now. Why does it bother you so much that she's got a boyfriend?"  
  
"Its not that" Syaoran blurted  
  
"Really? You haven't acted all scowly since I told you you've been too deep in thought!" Chloe said back to him annoyance starting to sound in her voice. "I'm not going to ask what happened between you two because I already know"  
  
"What how!?!" Syaoran exclaimed shocked. Chloe started to look guilty.  
  
"I got bored last night so I had a peek," She said weakly.  
  
"I thought your parents didn't like you to spy" Syaoran questioned.  
  
"Shut up" she said back quickly, "Look I know you really like her but let it go a little its OK there's no danger coming"  
  
"How can you be so sure?"  
  
"I Looked"  
  
Syaoran looked at Chloe her short hair pulled back and small curls falling from it, in a way with her eyes sparkling the way they were she reminded him of Sakura, so he felt he had to look down.  
  
"Anyway, because you're so intent on spying on this Sakura girl I thought you might as well do it in person." Syaorans head snapped upright. Chloe then turned around slipping her hand into her bag. And called to Meiling "Hey Meiling-Chan!"  
  
"Yes?" Meiling said turning around  
  
"Are you and Akagi-San Dating yet?"  
  
"Yes why?"  
  
"Guess where were going next week all four of us!"  
  
"Four?" Meiling said and then realised the fourth person was Syaoran, who at the moment had a horrible feeling in his stomach. "Oh yeah, Where?"  
  
Chloes hand shot into the air with four tickets held in it.  
  
"JAPAN!"  
  
* * * * * 


	2. Trick of a Card

Trick of a Card  
  
Flashback  
  
Japan 16 months previous.  
  
"What's wrong Syaoran-Kun?" Sakura asked softly.  
  
"Nothing"  
  
"Come on you know you can tell me anything"  
  
"I don't want to, you Baka girl, why wont you just leave me alone for once"  
  
Hurt flooded through Sakuras face.  
  
"What do you mean?" she asked him her voice was full of sorrow  
  
"Your always there I can never get a minute alone! You, Meiling-San and Daidouji" He snapped at her his eyebrows furrowing. He clutched the note in his hand tighter and looked at the floor.  
  
"I.I didn't know you felt that way. Well I guess I'll go then." Sakura said. A single tear was forming in the corner of her eye.  
  
"Yes that would be a brilliant idea, oh and guess what it looks like it's the first one you made on your own, just leave me alone or do I have to go back to Hong Kong to get some quiet time?"  
  
"That was cruel," Sakura said to him trying to sound brave but clearly breaking from within, "I was only asking because I care about you."  
  
"Well I don't care about you Baka now go away!"  
  
The tear that had formed on one corner of her eye was now beginning to slowly roll down her cheek, and more were forming in her eyes. She turned quickly and stalked toward the door.  
  
"Oh Sakura no I didn't mean-" Syaoran said suddenly realising what he had said and standing up.  
  
"You know what!?" Sakura said turning round and facing him her expression was full of contempt "I hope you do go back to Hong Kong! And I don't care about you either not one bit!"  
  
Her voice was bitter and hit a place in his soul no other girl would have at this point. Her face was flooded with tears and a look so harsh that if looks could kill he would have died on the spot. She stalked out of the room without saying another word. Syaoran stood rooted to the spot. In all his frustration he had hurt the person he cared about most. The note fell to the floor and Syaoran walked from the room. The ink letters all smudged but only one sentence was readable.  
  
It's Time you came home Son,  
  
End of Flashback  
  
* * * * *  
  
Syaoran Shot straight up from sitting position to find himself hitting his chest against chloes arm and his nose millimetres away from the seat in front.  
  
"Thanks" Syaoran said to her weakly.  
  
"Sorry" Chloe said plainly  
  
"I said Thank you" Syaoran told her turning to face her and leaning back into his seat.  
  
"I know what you said" Chloe told him and turned to face him putting her arm back down to her cards. "It sorry that you need to say"  
  
"Pardon?"  
  
"Sorry." Chloe said to him "Its what you want to say to her. And with my help it will be the first word you say to her or god help me Li Syaoran you'll find yourself impaled on your own sword" All Syaoran could do to this was blink. He wasn't about to pick a fight with her she was worse than Meiling when you got her angry. He'd rather take his chances with a stampede of elephants.  
  
"Bad Dream?" Chloe asked him  
  
"How'd you guess?"  
  
"Syaoran-Kun you shot out of your seat even a stuffed animal could guess that" Stuffed animal. Syaoran glared remembering the guardian beast of the seal Cerberos how he always used to call him a stuffed animal.  
  
"Better than Baka" Chloe said turning a card over  
  
"Stop it do I have no privacy?" Syaoran snapped at her  
  
"No. and anyway I don't have to refer to my cards to know how you think we've been friends for ten years." Chloe pointed out. Syaoran started to glare at Chloe and if looks could have killed she should have been dead. "Acting childish over little things is what got you into this mess."  
  
"I know" Syaoran said as if accepting defeat, but reluctantly. Chloe turned her whole attention to him.  
  
"Look I'm not sure I know how much she means to you but I know she means a lot and I want to help you, I do, but I can only show you the door, you have to walk through it."  
  
"Don't start with that riddley psycho crap again" Syaoran said a tinge of annoyance on the edge of his voice.  
  
"Fine if you don't like her that much don't take my advice but I won't pity you if she uses one of those Clow cards against you."  
  
"She won't she's not like that"  
  
"Ah yes but emotions drive people Syaoran-Kun" She told him a look of adult seriousness on her face that he recognised from somewhere. "And if the emotion is powerful enough. it can drive people to do things they wouldn't normally do. Otherwise you wouldn't be on this plane. Your feelings for her are so strong its driving you to go back." Syaoran looked at her in shock. He'd never thought of it like that before. Chloe picked up a card and he knew that this conversation was over.  
  
Syaoran stared out of the window at the passing landmarks and gatherings of water. She was right. She was always right. God he hated that. Little miss know it all. But she had helped him out over the last year and a half. She had taught him a lot. Especially about emotions and in his case how it would be OK to show them. But he did appreciate it. Now he'd be able to show Sakura how sorry he was and they'd make up and he'd tell her how he loved her and couldn't stop thinking about her.  
  
But there was the problem of Sakuras' new boyfriend. And the fact Syaoran was now living in Hong Kong permanently. Although he supposed he could move in with Wei again. That was where they were staying for the duration of this 'short' trip. All he had to do was not be rude to Sakura when he saw her again, which was going to be a huge task.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Everything is fine, Syaoran told himself biting his lip, she won't kill me when I see her again it'll be fine.  
  
"But what if her boyfriends there?" Syaoran said desperately  
  
"you know I can be very err. distracting" Meiling said holding out a small leather purse, which Syaoran glared at as though it was a bomb.  
  
"No. I will not have you using that stuff again Meiling-Chan." Chloe said. "You know what happened last time. although it was quite funny" The two girls chuckled.  
  
"Yeah for you." Syaoran said in annoyance "what about me? People thought I was werid."  
  
"You are weird Li-Kun" Meiling told him they just knew it for a change. Both girls started to laugh at him again. Meiling put the purse away while Chloe shuffled her cards and placed them into her pocket.  
  
"And you'll come with me right so there won't be that nervous silence thing and so she wont kill me."  
  
"Li-Kun I was joking about that on the plane"  
  
"But emotions drive people if fact mines now driving me back to Hong Kong."  
  
"Oh don't be such a baby. Yes we're coming with you." Chloe said rolling her eyes while Meiling shook her head.  
  
"Boys" the girls said in unison and started to walk into the High School. Syaoran trailing behind them. As they reached the yard on the other side if the building they spotted Tomoyo, Sakura and some other people whom they knew and started to walk over.  
  
"Daidouji-San" Meiling shouted making the group spin to face them.  
  
"Meiling-Chan what are you doing here! it's so good to see you!" the group gathered round and that's when Syaoran spotted her. As beautiful as ever. Her new uniform suited her slim figure with its perfect curves. But then his attention turned to the boy standing next to her. He was tall with blue- black hair quite long and tied back into a small tail at the nape of his neck. Wearing those ever annoying glasses and smiling straight at him, Syaoran only glare back.  
  
"Hiiragizawa" he muttered  
  
"Eriol-Kun!" Chloes voice came and Syaorans jaw dropped as he stared at her walking up and giving Eriol a hug, "How have you been? I didn't know you we're in Japan."  
  
"Really? That's surprising. Although I didn't know you lived in Hong Kong now."  
  
Syaoran grabbed Chloes arm and dragged her way from the group  
  
"You. you. you know him" he said in shock sounding slightly disgusted.  
  
"Umm-hmm"  
  
"Umm-hmm! Umm-hmm! That's all you can do!" Syaoran said his voice raising. Suddenly there was a sharp pain on his head "Ow! what'd you do that for?"  
  
"You've lost focus already. Talk to her" she told him pushing him back in the direction of Sakura and with one final push said "and be nice"  
  
Syaoran tripped and landed on his knees by a pair of slender feet. He slowly looked up to come face to face with.  
  
"Kinomoto!" he almost shouted quite shocked, and his face turned the colour of a beetroot.  
  
"Li-kun" Sakura said calmly her now very short hair whipping around in the wind. There was a cold edge to her tone.  
  
"Your hair!"  
  
"What about it?"  
  
"Its short."  
  
"You don't like it?" she asked in a tone that sounded a touch disappointed.  
  
"No." Syaoran said and Chloe started to glare at him from behind Eriol and Meiling.  
  
"Oh" said Sakura looking slightly disappointed.  
  
"I love it" Syaorans voice came quietly a weak smile crossing his face for an instant. Sakura smiled at him. warm and friendly and some of the fears that were eating away at him ebbed away. "Its been a long time how have you been?"  
  
"Good" Sakura said "and you?"  
  
"OK." Syaoran said the blush intensifying.  
  
"That's good." Sakura said smiling again and it was almost as if summer had come in the middle of November everything seamed to warm up. "I have to get back to class now"  
  
"Oh OK" Syaoran said. Sakura began to walk away. A frown crossed his face.  
  
"A group of us are hanging out tonight!" Sakura shouted back "you should come"  
  
"We'll be there!" Meiling shouted back before Syaoran could say anything. And then Sakura shot another one of her beautiful smiles his way. And a larger smile crossed Syaorans face.  
  
"Wouldn't miss it" Syaoran muttered as Sakura walked away.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Eriol smiled as she walked into the room, her golden brown hair glinting in the sunlight and emerald green eyes sparkling.  
  
"I see you managed to get here"  
  
"Yes. We did and didn't have too much trouble"  
  
"How did you manage to achieve that then?"  
  
"The little card trick you showed me of course" she replied without a smile. Pretend to be stuck get out the book and change a few whiles he's not looking. Not that he would know what each card meant." "And what did you tell him?"  
  
"She had a boyfriend"  
  
"Drastic measures. I would have never thought you would have told such lies with your feelings for him" Eriol told her looking her in the eyes but she looked at the floor.  
  
"How are you really?" He asked her and a weak smile crossed her face.  
  
"OK he really love her but doesn't notice whats right under his nose" Chloe told him.  
  
"So why did you bring him here?" Eriol asked her an inquisitive look on his face.  
  
"Because I'd rather he be with the one he loves"  
  
* * * * 


	3. Eyes On Me

Eyes On Me  
  
"Not having fun Syaoran-kun?" Chloe asked as he sat down in a corner of the club they were in.  
  
"Hmmph"  
  
"She'll be here. She invited you remember She wont stand you up."  
  
Syaoran just glared, but not in chloes direction. Eriol was sitting in another corner talking to a group of boys that Syaoran had seen at the high school earlier that day.  
  
"Look at him." Syaoran said "Thinks he's so big. But he's not he's up to some thing I know it."  
  
Chloe glanced at Eriol and then at Syaoran as if waiting for Syaoran to say what she knew he would. and did.  
  
"And you know him! How come you never told me?" Syaoran asked  
  
"You never asked"  
  
"You and him are in alliances against me aren't you. He's Sakuras boyfriend isn't he?" Syaoran snapped, making Chloe look offended.  
  
"I'm surprised at you Li Syaoran." Chloe said standing up. "After all the help I've given you and you turn that tone of voice on me. And all because you found out me and him were friends!"  
  
"Were? You hugged him earlier!"  
  
"So? I haven't seen him since I moved back to Hong Kong"  
  
"You knew each other in England then?" Syaoran asked as Chloe started to sit back down.  
  
"Yes"  
  
"Why did you come back?"  
  
"Sorry?"  
  
"To Hong Kong" Syaoran stated, "I mean in you letters you told me you were happy and felt you had everything"  
  
"Not quite everything" Chloe said smiling at him then her eyes glanced behind her to the door, "She's here"  
  
Syaoran immediately turned around to see Sakura walk through the door wearing a silky turquoise dress that fell to her knees with silver high heals and a silver necklace.  
  
"I'll be back soon." Chloe told him and wandered off toward the stage.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Syaorans stomach seamed to take a road trip to his feet. He'd never been so nervous in his life and all over a girl. She invited you remember. chloes words echoed thorough his head. That's true she invited me. She wouldn't have if she didn't want to talk to me, Syaoran thought.  
  
"Hi!. no hello. no."  
  
"How's its nice to see you again?" a voice came from behind him. Syaoran froze for a moment the turned to face the angel he wanted to address.  
  
"Kinomoto! I err. yes it is. err how have you been?" Syaoran splurged out. Sakura just smiled, while Syaorans blush deepened  
  
"I've been fine, and you?" she asked her eyes sparkling in the lights.  
  
"Good. Its really.err.err.great to see you again" Syaoran stuttered  
  
"Its good to see you again too." Sakura said sitting down at the table, " is this just a visit to Japan or are you staying longer"  
  
"I don't know. It depends" Syaoran admitted sitting back down. He looked into her big green eyes. The smile on her face. Even with the changes that had taken place since he had last seen her. she still looked the same; her beauty took him to new levels of loving her. His loves for her increased with every minute until he thought he would burst and scream out. It was like a mix of pleasure and pain, but just seeing her there, sitting in front of him made the pain worthwhile.  
  
"Depends on what?" Sakura asked him but at that moment someone that changed Syaorans expression back to a scowl interrupted them.  
  
"Kinomoto-San. Li-San. Interesting to see you back here Li-San"  
  
"Interesting? In what way?" Came Chloes voice, "Anyone would think you didn't want him back here Eriol-Kun"  
  
"On the contrary Chloe-San I'm pleased to see him back here" Eriol replied to Chloe. But there was a sparkle in his eye that Syaoran didn't like.  
  
"No tricks Hiiragizawa" Syaoran muttered.  
  
"Oh no Li-San I am not the Joker here" whispered back, and although she tried to hide it Syaoran saw Chloe flinch and send Eriol a short warning and shocked look. It was so brief that no one else at the table noticed it. What is she hiding? There's something she's not telling me about what happened with her and the one person I feel that I can never trust my life with, even if he is the reincarnation of my ancestor. Syaoran thought, and I will find out.  
  
* * * * *  
  
The evening passed quickly Syaoran had raised his guard ever since the incident with chloes reaction to Eriols' words. But the evening was drawing to an end and Chloe, with help from Meiling had persuaded him to ask Sakura for a dance. Just ask her, the worst she can say it no, Syaoran told himself, why would I rather face all the Clow cards at once right now!?!  
  
"Err Kinomoto?"  
  
"Yes Li-Kun?" Sakura replied smiling  
  
Why does she always have to smile?, he thought, makes me turn to mush.  
  
"I was wondering if you would. I mean if you want. but you probably wont what I mean is." Syaoran stuttered. Come on just ask. Syaoran took a deep breath and then splurged out "Doyouwanttodancewithme?"  
  
"Sorry?" Sakura said looking confused. Syaoran had to take several deep breaths before he could say-  
  
"Dance. would you?. with me?" Nerves must have showed on his face because he couldn't even force himself to smile or scowl or anything. But the reaction he got wasn't what he had expected. Sakura took his hand in hers and lead him to the dance floor smiling all the way. Syaoran could do nothing but blush. His heart rate increasing to two hundred or something.  
  
"Our last song of the night is a slow one which will be sung by someone who is a little shy to come out onto the stage so they'll be singing from behind the curtain, hopefully all those with loved ones will get up and dance to this." The Club owner announced over the microphone. Damn it a slow song!? I blush brighter than the lights! Syaoran thought  
  
Slowly the music started up haunting and slow. Syaoran carefully placed his hands around Sakuras waist, blushing furiously and Sakura put her hands around his shoulders. And for the first time Syaoran looked onto her face and saw a blush on her face too. Maybe she does like me after all. He thought. And then the words of the song ran through the air.  
  
"Whenever sang my songs, On the stage, on my own. Whenever said my words, wishing they would be heard. I saw you smiling at me, was it real or just my fantasy? You'd always be there in the corner, Of this tiny little bar.  
  
My last night here for you, Same old songs, just once more. My last night here with you? Maybe yes, maybe no. I kind of liked it your way, How you shyly placed your eyes on me. Did you ever know, That I had mine on you?"  
  
Was is just Syaorans imagination or did he recognise the voice of the singer.  
  
"Darling, so there you are, With that look on your face. As if you're never hurt, As if you're never down. Shall I be the one for you, Who pinches you softly but sure. If frown is shown then, I will know that you are no dreamer.  
  
So let me come to you, Close as I want to be. Close enough for me, To feel your heart beating fast. And stay there as I whisper, How I love your peaceful eyes on me. Did you ever know, That I had mine on you? -"  
  
In some ways Syaoran could relate to the words. Did Sakura ever know that he had only ever had eyes for her? Her beauty and grace were just so powerful he felt he could snap in two. How he loved her he didn't think he'd ever be able to tell her.  
  
"Darling, so share with me, Your love if you have enough. Your tears if you're holding back, or pain if that's what it is. How can I let you know, I'm more than the dress and the voice. Just reach me out then, You will know that you're not dreaming.  
  
Darling, so there you are, With that look on your face. As if you're never hurt, As if you're never down. Shall I be the one for you, Who pinches you softly but sure. If frown is shown then I will know, that you are no dreamer."  
  
As the song died down the group fetched their bags and began to leave the room. And from the safety behind the curtain Chloe placed the microphone down on the table beside her and peeked out through the curtain. A single tear running its course down the side of her cheek. And she whispered the words.  
  
"Did you ever know, That I had mine on you?"  
  
* * * * *  
  
Authors Note: I cannot take credit for the song words. They are actually the word from Final Fantasy VIII, called eyes on me. I heard them and got inspiration for this Chapter. 


	4. Queen Of Hearts

Queen Of Hearts  
  
A few days had passed and Syaoran and Sakura had got closer together. They were becoming great friends again and he had finally managed to get five minutes alone with her. They were having a picnic in the park. Everything was perfect.  
  
"Your going back in two weeks aren't you?" Sakura asked him  
  
"Yes I am" Syaoran replied sounding upset. "Look Kinomoto-"  
  
"Call me Sakura" She told him with a smile, "we've been friends for so long you should."  
  
"Sakura-San" Syaoran corrected himself on Sakuras wish, "I have wanted to say this all week and I feel I really must now before its too late."  
  
"What is it?" she asked her short hair whisking in the gentle breeze. The smile on her face melted Syaorans soul.  
  
"I'm sorry." He said  
  
"What?" Sakura replied looking confused.  
  
"Before I left, before I came back, we had an argument and I wanted to say I was sorry. I should have said the things I did. I was lying to you and myself."  
  
"Continue" Sakura said clearly a little intrigued at what he was going to say.  
  
"When I told you you were always in my way, you weren't. And you've made up lots of great ideas about how to capture the Clow cards and stuff, you deserved to be the Clow mistress, but most importantly the biggest lie was when I said I didn't care about you. I Do. You mean the world to me. I can't survive without you. You're all I've thought about for the last year and a half. Ever since the day I left and before even since the day we became true friends when we were ten. What I guess I'm trying to say is. I love you Kinomoto Sakura." He told her and she hung on to his every word. Syaoran became worried when he got no response out of her for a minute and then she said;  
  
"Say that again"  
  
"I'm Sorry"  
  
"No The other bit the last bit"  
  
"I love you Kinomoto Sakura?" he questioned. And Sakuras face broke into a huge smile.  
  
She lent forward and kissed his cheek, making Syaoran flush bright red. Then he leaned closer too and they kissed lips to lips. He had waited a long time to kiss her, even to be kissed. And it was worth the wait.  
  
* * * * *  
  
"Chloe-Chan, it was brilliant, we kissed," he said pacing up and down in front of her. " And I told her I was sorry and that I loved her and she said she loved me too and . aren't you happy for me?" he said looking at the expression on her face.  
  
She looked up at him. Her eyes were red as if she'd been crying.  
  
"What's wrong?" he asked her sitting down finally.  
  
"I'm going back to England." She told him  
  
"England?! For how long? You'll still live in Hong Kong right. You're just going to England for a visit."  
  
"What I had hoped for in Hong Kong I couldn't ever have. Its clear to me now."  
  
"What was it you had wanted? Maybe I can help you!"  
  
"You cant I'm going to England to stay. What I had hoped for is gone, and I can never get it. I have played my part. There's nothing more I can do."  
  
"Played your part? What do you mean?" Syaoran asked. A single diamond tear ran down the side of Chloes cheek.  
  
"I tricked you into coming Syaoran-Kun. Sakura never really had a boyfriend. I just knew you loved her so much so I wrote to Eriol and we decided to do some thing about it. I can't even fortune tell with my deck."  
  
"What?" Syaoran said standing up again "you cant fortune tell?"  
  
"If you haven't noticed I have never had a full deck Theres always one card missing. I won't have it in my deck"  
  
"You lied to me?" Syaoran said anger starting to rise within him "All this time you tell me its wrong to lie to Sakura and you are lying to me."  
  
Tears began to flood down the sides of Chloes face dropping off of her face and landing on the floor with a silent splash.  
  
"How could you do that. You're a hypocrite. You tell me not to lie to Sakura and you lie to me."  
  
"I never lied to you Li Syaoran!" Chloe shouted at him "I lied to myself. All that time in Hong Kong and I couldn't stop hoping. "  
  
Syaoran stood in shock momentarily before asking, "Hoping for what?"  
  
"I have to go, my plane flies out in a few hours, so I have to go."  
  
"Don't" Syaoran managed. How could he have been so blind. He had known Chloe for so long yet he had been so blind and couldn't see something was wrong.  
  
"Sorry. My mind is set. It's better for me, for you. I'm Glad your happy. But I need to find myself again. I'll visit. I promise." Chloe told him. Tears still streaming down her face. She walked up to him kissed him gently on the cheek placed and package wrapped in brown paper in his had and walked out of the room with out a second glance.  
  
Stopping only at the door to say "Never forget me okay" and then leaving his life for good.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Outside Chloe stopped and broke into sobs. But didn't look up when a gentle hand was placed on her shoulder. A hand came in front of her face holding a handkerchief, which she gratefully took.  
  
"I'm not staying." She told him.  
  
"I Know" A soft voice came back." I see you finally told him"  
  
"I Couldn't. I wanted to tell him how I smiled on the outside but each day was being torn up on the inside. I wanted to say I love you Syaoran. More than you could possible imagine, but you never noticed. But after hearing how happy he was I just couldn't. I think I ruined his perfect day" Chloe told him.  
  
"Egao Misete, setsunasa ga afuredashite mo."  
  
"I can't"  
  
"Of course you can"  
  
"I'm going to be late Eriol-Kun." Chloe said trying to put on a brave face but no-one would have been fooled because of her red eyes and crystal tears, "See Syaoran gets this as well please" She said passing him an envelope. "Come visit me soon okay?"  
  
"Of course I will" He told her hugging her. "I hope you find yourself again"  
  
"So do I" She replied kissing him on the cheek. She bowed toward him and then turned and got into the taxi that was waiting.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Syaoran slowly opened the parcel in front of him. He was so sure that his life had taken a turn for the better. But now Chloe, his best friend, had left him, all because he had been too blind to realise something had been wrong . Even after all she had ever done for him, He had never given her any thought.  
  
Baka, he told himself, why am I such a Baka? The package came open and inside was Chloes favourite set of Fortune cards. Her first set of cards. He shuffled through the deck and noticed names were written on the back of each one. 'Hiiragizawa, Eriol' was written on the back of the Ace of Spades. 'Li, Meiling' on the back of Three of Diamonds. 'Li Syaoran' On the back of King of Clubs. 'Me' Written on the back of the Ace of Hearts. In fact there was a card for everyone. Even Daidouji, Tomoyo, Mitsuki, Kaho, Suppi- Chan, Kero-Chan, Kinomoto, Fujitaka, Akizuki, Naruku. She knew all these people, he thought, and never told me.  
  
He shuffled through the deck again and notice what she had said was right. There was one card missing. A hand came in front of his face holding an envelope.  
  
"She wanted you to have this" Eriols voice came  
  
"Arigatou" Syaoran replied still quite shocked that he had gained so much, but had seamed to have lost so much more all in one day. He turned the envelope over and read what was written on the front opening the back simultaneously. It read;  
  
This Belongs with you.  
  
Syaoran took out the think piece of card that was inside and looked at it. The missing card! Queen of Hearts. Syaoran turned over the card and read the back and it said;  
  
Kinomoto, Sakura.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Authors Note; Did you like it? My first completed Fan fic. There is continued fic coming up carrying on from this story called Crimson Blades. Mainly based around Chloe. So if you want to know what happened to her and some of the other characters you may want to read that. (Its not completely only Chloe some very well known and loved CCS characters will be popping up **Syaoran cough cough**)  
  
And for all those who don't understand Japanese what Eriol said ("Egao Misete, setsunasa ga afuredashite mo.") means "Show me a smile, even though you're overflowing with sorrow," And "Arigatou" means "thank you" only informally. 


End file.
